I can't remember the last time I got actual fulfilling sleep. Last night was probably the worst of it, I have a fever and Elijah woke up at 5am. I nursed him until he fell asleep and then put him back down and he immediately got fussy. This kept happening until about 9am. Nursed for a little bit, fell asleep, then woke up and got fussy the second I put him down. On any other day this would suck, but it sucks more today because I still have a fever and I need sleep!

My fever came about yesterday. I woke up in the morning and felt feverish, so I took my temp and it was 100.7. I called the birth center and talked to one of the midwives. She told me to rest and that usually if it's a birth related infection the fever would be higher, etc. So I finally was able to get back to sleep and I woke up at noon only to find out my temperature had gone up to 101.3, even though I had taken Tylenol. I called the birth center back and another midwife told me to come in to get checked out. Jason came home for lunch and we went to the birth center. My breasts had been a little tender lately, but not unbearable pain, I figured they were just engorged. Turns out I have mastitis. She prescribed me an antibiotic. So that's that. I have to take the antibiotic for 10 days. I really hope we don't end up having to deal with thrush or anything. I am going to try to take some preventative measures so we don't have to.

Other than that things have been good. It's a huge adjustment. It's one thing being pregnant, that's hard too, but this is a whole new level of hard. I honestly don't understand how people can go back to work right away after having a baby, and I don't understand how people can put them in a crib in their own room from day one! I guess it might work for other people, but there is no way I would ever be able to do that. That would make me even more tired, and I can't let this little guy out of my sight.

We have barely left the bedroom. We've gone to doctors appointments, and out for breakfast one day, but we've spent most of our time in bed. They tell you to sleep when baby sleeps, but honestly, that's really hard to do. I have taken many naps while Elijah is sleeping, but I still somehow end up needing more and being extremely tired in the middle of the night.

Breastfeeding is going well. There were a few days where I had cracked and bleeding nipples, but it wasn't because of a problem. It was just them "breaking in", apparently it's normal. It was so super painful, every time he latched on I would have to brace myself for the pain. It went away once he started sucking for a few seconds, but it was pretty bad. I used milk to soothe them, and let them air dry, and I used Lanisoh after every feeding. When the pain got too bad I would use a nipple shield. I also use the nipple shield in the morning because my milk comes out fast and Elijah has a tendency to choke on it when my breasts are full. I highly suggest anyone who is planning on breastfeeding to get a tube of Lanisoh, even if your nipples don't crack and get painful like mine did, it will keep them supple.

Breastfed babies poop like 100 times a day. Every time I feed Elijah I also have to change his diaper. Sometimes I change it before feeding and then again after. We're still using disposables right now, and we probably will for another couple of weeks until we've had a good amount of time to adjust. His poops are the yellow, seedy, breastmilk poops. Not solid at all. I will be getting diaper liners for when we transition to the cloth, and Bac-Out spray. Speaking of poop, I have to go change a poopy diaper right now!

And back. I swear his poops get messier and bigger with every diaper change.

My must haves for postpartum recovery:
- Peri bottle! I used hibiclens with warm water. You can also use tea tree oil.
- Strapless dresses. You know, like jersey ones from old navy or something. This can also go under my must haves for nursing moms.
- Lots of snacks!!
- My friend set up a meal tree for us and it was (and still is) amazing. People came by and dropped off food that they made and we were able to just microwave servings when we were hungry. It kept us fed for the entire first week, and there's still people coming with stuff. This will also really help after I have surgery too.

My must haves for nursing moms:
- Lanisoh
- Snacks on your bedside table (I store mine in the pocket of the co-sleeper). And a bottle of water that is constantly full! I get so hungry and thirsty while nursing, so it's nice to have everything right there.
- Something to do while nursing. I play solitaire on my ipod a lot because it's easy to do one handed. Oce nursing becomes second nature I can do stuff like read.
- A boppy is of course not a necessity but it sure has made my life easier. I needed a lot of extra pillows the first few days, but we are doing ok now with just the boppy.
- Breast pads. I have some re-usable ones that I am going to start using soon, but I got some disposable ones passed down to me, and for that I am grateful. I was literally a milk waterfall for the first week. I still am leaking a lot, but it's not as bad.

Elijah and I have a song. At Last by Etta James. I sing it to him a lot and he likes it, and every word rings true.

At last my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song

Ohh yeah yeah
At last
the skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clover
The night I looked at you

I found a dream, that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known

Ohh yeah yeah…
You smile, you smile
oh And then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
for you are mine....
At Last

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