Double digits!

99 days left of pregnancy. 14 weeks and 1 day. I have been pregnant for 181 days. Damn! That's a long time! I remember at the beginning 280 was forever. It still is, but I am glad that the majority of that is behind me, and now I can worry about a whole new set of things.

Speaking of worrying, I have a habit of freaking myself out lately. I am sure it's totally normal, but the baby hasn't been moving around all that much today. They haven't told me to start kick counts or anything yet, and I don't think those start until around 28 weeks, but it's just weird because the baby has been so active this past week, and now it's like nothing. I also keep thinking of things that probably won't happen to me, like leaking amniotic fluid. I have had a 100% normal and healthy pregnancy so far, so it's more than likely going to stay that way, I'm just freaking myself out because there are endless things that could go wrong or happen. I just need to stop thinking about it. Everything will be fine! Our next appointment is next Friday early in the morning, so all my fears can be put to rest then. I am also taking the glucose test then, joy! our Bradley classes start next Thursday, this is also exciting!

I'm not looking forward to therapy today. For several reasons. One of them is the last time we went she told me I needed to go on anti-depressants to help deal with the emotions that I am having when Jason and I have huge fights. I know there are some safe medications out there, but I thought long and hard about it and decided that I do not want to take medication while pregnant. i have been on medication in the past and I know that you don't just start taking one medication and it just magically works, sometimes it's a trial and error thing, and some medications have side effects. I was also reading about anti-depressants in pregnancy, and some people suggest weaning pregnant woman OFF of them at around 30 weeks, so the baby does not suffer withdrawal symptoms when born. I feel that the cons of medication outweigh the pros. The huge fights don't happen often enough that I need to be medicated daily, and Jason needs to learn how to change the way he says things, and how to be more supportive, the only reason I get depressed lately is because of him when we fight. I have no problem going on medication after the baby is born if there are signs of post partum depression, but I would rather stay away from them right now,
Another reason I am not looking forward to this session is because it is going to be our last with this specific therapist. While she is obviously experienced in some way, I don't feel she is experienced enough in pregnancy, communication during pregnancy, and what happens after the baby is born. I would prefer to have someone whose expertise is in families with children, pregnancy, and post partum depression. Possibly a woman who has children herself. I just feel like we need to switch to someone who can better understand the issues that we are dealing with, and will be dealing with. While I don't think we are going to tell her that it's over, I will still know. She knows that we have our class coming up next Thursday, so we are going to tell her that our schedule has a lot going on and we're going to have to sit down at home and figure out the best time and we will call when we want to make an appointment. I guess I shouldn't feel weird, people switch doctors and therapists all the time, I just don't want her to feel "offended" that we don't think her experience fits well enough.

Other than that I have been answering questions for ChaCha for some extra money for the past couple days. I did $20 worth yesterday, and today has been slow but my goal is to do $20 today. If I can maintain that amount Monday - Friday then that would be perfect right now, $400 extra a month would really help us out considerably. If you need some extra money and want to apply as a guide go to chacha.com and do it! Use jessicaLwestbrook@gmail.com as your referral email address!

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