I'm having a serious sensitive day. Well, sensitive week really, but today it's all coming out. I just feel totally alone, neglected. I'm so tired of feeling alone. I don't even know what to do about it anymore. I have hobbies, but these hobbies cost money sometimes, and I can't just go out and buy the supplies I need when I need them. I feel like I haven't had any good sewing ideas because I have been depressed, and being creative when depressed is near impossible. I want to start an organic garden in our yard, but I need Jason to get me the supplies I need, I don't even know when we would be able to do that because he just doesn't have time. He doesn't even have time to take me on a date so I don't know how I will ever start a garden. All would be perfect if I had money and car, but I don't.
I just hate feeling alone. At some point you start feeling resentful. I don't want to feel resentful, but I can't really help it, especially when I feel like I'm just sitting here begging for attention and I'm not getting it at all. I'm tired of it. I almost just want to give up and maybe someday accept the fact that I will just be alone forever. I want to get out of the house, but where am I going to go, how will I get there, and what will I do? I don't want to feel like this once the baby gets here. I will be so happy when it does get here, but I don't want depression to take over, and I'm scared that is what is going to happen if I continue to feel this way.


elin said...

Hey! You're not alone! Pregnancy can make us feel like this at times but just know you are NEVER alone.

Deb said...

I dealt w/ depression w/ #1 and a little now w/ #2 and it sucks but preparing for it by building a support system now is really helpful. I found you from the nest and wanted to post that you have to join the Austin Mamas--we rock and you seem like you would fit in very nicely w/ us :) www.austinmamas.com there is a link to the yahoo group on the right side :)

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