10.05.2009

More love than a person can comprehend



We caught Elijah's first laughs on video! He was so excited to take that bath with me last night, it was the cutest thing I have ever seen. The cutest thing until he does something even cuter tomorrow that is!

You never know how much you can be in love with someone until you have a child. Seriously. I have never been more in love in my life. I fall in love with Elijah more and more every day. He's perfect! He's this amazing little person. So young and innocent. He doesn't know about any of the bad stuff in the world. The only this he knows is love. He knows his mommy, and he knows that he loves her. He knows his dad, and he knows that he loves him. He knows that he's safe here, and he's happy! I don't ever want that to change. I don't ever want him to be upset, or to know about bad things. I wish I could hide stuff like drugs, murder, rape, bombings, shootings, wars. I wish I could just show Elijah that love is all that matters, and all that needs to exist. I want to teach him to be good, and kind to people. I don't want him to ever learn any bad words. I want him to be strong and intelligent. I know he will be. He will grow up to be an amazing person who can make wonderful decisions. Everyone will love him because he will be genuinely nice, but he won't take shit from people. He won't let you use him or walk all over him, but he will be giving when he should be.
But I don't want that time to come for a thousand more years. I want time to slow down, I want Elijah to be little for longer than he will be! My baby is already 3 months old. I just can't comprehend how time flies by so quickly.

I love him. I love him more than I knew anyone could love a person. I love him so much that I think my heart exploded when he was born. It couldn't handle the amount of love that I have for my son.

I look at him all the time and think about how I helped make him. I carried him. He was in my body when he was just and egg fertilized by a sperm. He was there before he had any limbs, a beating heart, or a brain. He grew from nothing, into this beautiful little boy, and it happened inside of me.

Elijah is my rock. My everything. My heart and soul. He's my strength that gets me through the bad times.

2 comments:

SoCoDivka Designs said...

This is so sweet. You are an amazing mama!

Mommy Bee said...

I very much relate. One time I was having a rough day and my baby was picking up on it and being fussy, and as I sat there rocking him just trying to hold it together the thought came to me (and I said aloud to him) that even the worst days with him were better than the best days before he came.
My husband overheard and felt hurt by it, but it wasn't anything negative to or about my husband, it was that the addition of a child adds so much to life that pre-child life just can't compare.

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