Today, on the 2 year anniversary of meeting my soon to be ex, divorce papers were filed.
It's bittersweet. I've been unhappy and emotionally fragile with an unsupportive husband who puts me down and calls me names. I can't handle it. I unexpectedly got pregnant (and I am happy I did, Elijah is my entire world) which threw me into this hormonal whirlwind and apparently dredged up some crap in Jason too. This man that I once knew disappeared and was replaced with this angry person who smashes and breaks and made me feel horrible and worthless.
I've been dealing with so much. I have more than a full plate. My fridge is packed. Baby, cancer, crappy marriage.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I have no money, nothing. I have nowhere to go, my credit sucks, I have to deal with CANCER, my health insurance is going to end soon. I just don't. know. where. to. start.
So, this is it. The beginning of the end. This is why I haven't been around much. My orders from Etsy are piling up. I can't stop crying. Why did it end up like this? How come I got the shit end of the stick again?
I am going to try to be strong, but it's hard. I don't even feel like a real person. One day I will be ok.