The Hip (Single) Mama

How do you make a pregnant woman miserable? Well you could break the a/c for one! Obviously it's no ones fault, but really, I have been miserable all day. Last night every time I went to the bathroom I would turn the thermostat down because I was so hot and sweaty. This morning Jason got up and was messing with it and it was just not working at all. He went to work, it still didn't come on so he called a guy to come check it out. Turns out the most expensive things is wrong with it, we need a new compressor. They had to call in the part so the guy won't be back until tomorrow morning to fix it. It has been just about 90 degrees INSIDE all day. That is not fun while pregnant, in fact it's pretty miserable. I have trouble breathing in the heat, when I go outside it gets so much worse than when I am sitting in an air conditioned room, so you can just imagine what I am going through right now.

Besides that ugh. I am so ready for this baby to come out. I have been stressed beyond belief and i am starting to feel like I am getting the run around. I have been trying to figure out this whole surgery and pregnancy thing. First I am told that I should be induced so we can get this done as soon as posisble, but the decision is left up to me. Ok, so here I am with this terrible decision that I don't want to have to make. I finally decided to choose induction because I was scared. I still am, but I was more scared then. Ok. So I was pretty much left to my own devices, calling doctors letting them know what is up, trying to find an OB, schedule an appointment. Ok, so then my midwife talks to the perinatologist and he tells her that if I am going to get induced I need to get an amnio done first to check maturity, and he tells her that I can get general anesthetic. I didn't want to get an amnio really,so maybe I will just go to 40 weeks and then induce if the baby hasn't come yet. So I make an appointment with an OB, the first one available is the 17th. None of this would happen before then anyway. Then the peri saying GA was fine got me thinking maybe I can have the surgery while pregnant then. Ok. I spoke with a woman who had the same stage melanoma while pregnant and she had the surgery at 6 months pregnant. I called the surgeon and scheduled the surgery. I had my midwife call the peri so he could call the surgeon.
Ok.
So everything is all settled. Good! I don't have to worry about not breastfeeding for two days and I can recover before the baby is even born, not to mention I will finally get some kind of peace of mind. WRONG. Totally WRONG. The surgeon calls me and tells me that he talked to the peri and they can't do my surgery. I can't go under general anesthesia, it's too risky. Why the hell did you tell me I could if it wasn't true!? So then he's saying it's ok for me to just wait, it's so close. Then he mentioned induction. I told him that there was no point in inducing now, I am 37 weeks pregnant. I didn't want to do that in the first place anyway but I felt like I had to because that is what he was making it seem like! Even if I wanted to there is just no way that would even be possible. But yeah, I don't want to at all. So I will wait. So basically he says yeah that's fine, a few weeks isn't going to make a difference anyway. Ugh. Seriously? So why were you making me feel like it was in the first place. Cause it's just a bunch of stress that I need right?
So I will be waiting until baby gets here to have the surgery. It can feel free to come whenever it wants (tonight!? tomorrow!?) and then I will schedule surgery for about a week or week and a half after. Luckily I won't have to deal with nipple confusion because my friend offered to breastfeed my baby for the two days that I can't. That's such a huge relief for me, I was really worried about that because breastfeeding is a big deal for me and I don't want to end up having to pump to feed my baby by a bottle all the time.

This is all just a whole lot of stress. Unanswered questions and stress. Some people are not making this stress easier to deal with. I am not going to name names.

I think I hear thunder. I really hope I do, I hope it rains. It would make it so much cooler inside.