I am sure people are getting sick of me complaining, but I don't even care. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should try to not do it so much, but then I think about it for a little bit and realize I am completely justified in complaining. This has not been easy for me. None of it.
Pregnancy itself is hard at the end of the 3rd trimester. I am sure there are lucky people who have it easy, but unfortunately I am not one of them. I have been in bed for the past 3 days just depressed, in pain, nervous, scared, pissed off. I have had acid reflux that is coming up into my mouth. It hurts so bad. My stomach feels so full and heavy, and my pelvis is so sore and achy. I haven't been hungry really, and I haven't had energy to go make food, so I have been forcing myself to eat whatever we have that is quick and easy to make.
I have just been sitting in my bedroom alone for 3 days freaking crying, playing scrabble online and listening to my ipod.
I keep having contractions but they aren't the painful kind, they are the ones that are just annoying. I had them for like 2 hours the other night and the only thing that felt comfortable while they were happening was sitting up super straight or laying down on my side. I did have a few painful ones. Maybe I got lucky and they started to dilate me more.
It has been between 105° and 109° here for the past several days. It's been miserable. I don't even remember the last time that I went outside to hang out. It's definitely been a month, or more.
I can't stand the heat. It gets so hot here in the summer, and summer seems to last forever. Until October at least. I miss the fall. The real fall. I love the transition from hot, to 70/80 degree weather, and then the transition to wearing a sweater or light jacket out. I would love to live somewhere that has summer and fall, and that's it. No winter. But seriously, I can't deal with this heat anymore. I like to spend time outside, and I can't.
My next appointment is on Tuesday. I don't know when the next one after that will be, but it will probably only be a few days. I feel like they like to touch base every few days to try to get things going since we only have up until 42 weeks (god I hope I don't end up going that long).
Anyway, here's hoping to a baby soon.
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